I’m not sure why I’m writing right now.
This post is rather personal and honestly should only exist in my drafts folder. I don’t even know what this post will contain when finished.
A lot is going on in my head and writing is somehow calming and therapeutic for me. Actually writing stuff out also helps me figure out which ideas are idiotic.
I guess I’m trying to recap the past few days and figure some stuff out in my head. I made a new friend over the weekend. She sits beside me in class but this weekend was the first time we hung out away from school. Our personalities mesh really well and it always helps to share a thrilling night-time escapade while getting to know someone – especially in the exhilarating and applicable scenario of “Run! Forest, run!”. So anyhow, she is really cool.
Then I’ve got two girls who are crushing on me and I’m not sure how let them know I’m only interested in being friends without being mean or offending them. The worst part is that one of them is a fellow classmate that will be sitting next to me for another several weeks.
So I’m really trying to avoid any drama. It’s awkward and I’m trying to play it cool while still trying to pass the hint along. It’s almost sad and I feel sorry for them because I’d know how they feel if the roles were reversed.
Perhaps the most perplexing problem for me right now involves a fourth girl. In one of my classes, there is a girl who I really want to get to know. It’s one of those times, where someone takes you by surprise. She’s carries herself well, projects maturity, dresses fashionably “conservative”, and is extremely pretty. During our last class, we both made it clear we know the other exists, but I’m extremely unsure as to my next step.
Very rarely do I meet girls that have obvious self-respect, act mature, and have stunning looks. I’m not in a club where girls come up and offer numbers, I’m not at a friend’s party where my friends “subtly” try to pair me up, and I’m not simply noticing an attractive girl.
Somehow this girl is different. I’ve never ran into a girl that threw me for a loop. Of course, the next step is to walk up and talk to her. But for introverted me, that will take some guts. The scariest part of asking a girl out is not necessarily that she’ll say no, but that you might hear the dreaded four words of “I have a boyfriend”.
Yeah, that’s an absolutely devastating statement.
College is one of the best places to meet someone, and I’ve made lots of female friends in my 1st year of school. There are the girls have asked me for my number, invited me to their study group, or simply went out of their way to befriend me, and then there the girls that I’ve gone out of my way to befriend.
But with Miss Classmate, I guess I’m scared. I’ve mentally promised to talk to her next week, so here’s to hoping my courage or foolhardiness lasts till then.