A Lack of TMI

TMI.

That cliche term for when someone just gives way “too much information” about something that should be private or personal.

Have you ever called TMI on someone when they launch into a personal story? I have.

But no one has ever called TMI on me – for a simple reason. I never really share, much less ever over-indulge about anything remotely personal.

I have never quite understood the necessity to involve other people in my own personal life. The life that I share with others is my busy life of work and college. Everyone has his own life to live or survive, and I’d much rather continue my status quo of listening instead of talking.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’ll talk to you, but I won’t just sit down and open up my heart to you.

But that is slowly starting to change.

Several months ago, one of my friends told me that she was disappointed in my lack of sharing. She clarified that I never really shared anything personal about my life, thoughts, or feelings with anyone. She went on to tell me how that  by never allowing others to get to really know me and understand my emotions or feelings, I was missing out on deeper and more meaningful friendships.

Unbelievable as it may seem, I am so much more open and communicative now than I have ever been. Had she told me that a year or more ago, I would have taken that statement as a compliment and worn it like a badge of honor. However, I didn’t quite know what to think of my friend’s observation, and it bothered me.

I’ve always used the excuse that I’m introverted and over-think everything.

And that’s true.

I do think too much and talk too little. But the reason why I think so much, is because I’m frantically calculating the risks involved with formulating the words in my head and allowing another person to know how I feel or what I think. At the end of my mental scramble, I’ve always chosen to be safe rather than sorry and give a PR response that lacks the emotion or thoughts involved.

After thinking about that conversation with my friend, I realized how right she was. And the past several months I have tried to make progress. Just like the Grinch, as my speck of a heart grows, I am gradually learning to open up to my close friends.

Life is complex, and it requires collaboration to realize happiness and success. Friends are people who share. It is through sharing life, that we learn how to live and enjoy life together.

In a lot of ways this blog post is for myself. It’s like I’m calling myself out (to myself) on an area that needs improvement. Instead of randomly thinking about it, I want to be able to reread this post a month from now and realize that I’ve made tangible progress.

But in other ways, this post is for you – for my readers and for my friends.

It’s a promise that I will try to be the friend the amazing people in my life deserve to have.

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